DukeDeJong

In the past week I’ve met face to face with nearly a dozen church tech leaders and have had phone calls and emails with many more.  There’s been some great discussion of what kind of things do and don’t work, ministry philosophy and plenty about life in general.  One topic that has come up frequently over the past week though is one that really makes me sad, and since I’ve experienced it myself over the years I’m committed to helping people navigate it.  The topic is leaders who feel like they are ready to walk away from their church or ministry, and with each email, text message, tweet or live conversation my heart aches more for tech leaders.

Before I go further, if you are in a good place with leaders who love and appreciate you, I rejoice with you and for you.  You are truly blessed!  If you’re in that environment and you still feel like God is calling you to a new thing, I truly believe that God has something even better for you.  For most of the people I’ve been talking to though, it has been less about simply feeling God’s call to move and more about wrestling with whether or not they can hang on to where they are now.  They  (or their family) may feel tired, used, abused, uncared for or burned out. Some are even ready to walk away from ministry altogether.  For those of you experiencing this, or are on your way to experiencing this, here are some thoughts and encouragement I’d like to share.

1) You are not alone
I don’t know the current statistic but the average church leader last somewhere around 18 months in their position.  This is all pastors and leaders.  Working in a church is a tough calling, but we have to remember that we’re not alone in this and there are many who are willing to support and share life with you.  The Church Technical Director Roundtable alone has over 350 technical leaders who know what you go through, and many of them have or are currently experiencing this.  My encouragement is to talk especially to those who have gone through this season to help gain perspective, insight and possibly some ideas on where to go.  This season is one that can feel very lonely and confusing, it helps greatly to have experienced folks speak into your life, especially during a season like this.  Sometimes a little outside perspective is all that is needed to help you navigate a tough situation.  If you don’t know or have someone in your life, please feel free to contact me.

2) Look at and work on what you can change, you.
What I’ve learned about challenging seasons of my life is generally they are times that required me to look inward to change and grow.  Let’s face it, while you can and should address struggles with those you have struggles with, if a leader or coworker is the source of your frustration, you have a limited ability to change them.  What I’ve learned though (the hard way of course) is that frequently a change needed to be made in me too.  When I’ve felt burned out, often it was because I wasn’t spending enough time reading my Bible, or being quiet, or even simply not working.  When relationships have strained, often I could have been much more proactive about building mutual respect and connection.  I’m not saying it’s always your or my fault, but when things get tough we must be willing to look at ourselves first.  Sometimes we simply need to take better care of ourselves, have healthier boundaries or simply attitude check ourselves.  Whether or not the problem started with me, it’s the first place I should start since it is the area I have the most control over.

3) Focus on being who God made you to be
During these times it’s much easier to leave than stick it out, to jump ship rather than try to turn it.  I think often we give up too soon, giving up before God has a chance to mold us into what he wants us to be.  I’ve had times in my life where I feel like God has specifically told me that if I will hang on and push through, He will open even bigger doors than if I give up.  On the other hand, sometimes God is calling you to a new thing, and if so you absolutely need to be obedient to that.  Last year that is exactly where I was, feeling a shifting in what God had called me to do.  The issue wasn’t with the ministry I was a part of, but the changes God was bringing to my passion and vision for ministry.  My point here is that if you are going to leave a church or even a ministry position, do so because God is directing you to, not just because it is easier.  During this season, my encouragement is to really seek and pray about what God made you to be.  For me, through much prayer and discussion with my wife and trusted friends and ministry veterans, it was clear that God was shifting my vision and calling.  Even though I love leading technical ministries and could continue what I was doing, God was adjusting my passions and gifting to this new direction and I had to be obedient to that shift or struggle through staying behind.  If you are experiencing this season, is God shifting your calling, wanting to shift your location, or asking you to stick it out and learn what He wants to teach you?

Every person’s story has different characters and twists and turns, but if you are in this season of restlessness, hopefully these insights will help you start navigating what God has for you.  If you’re in this season, I’d love to pray with you and talk with you.  Please contact me at duke.deJong@yahoo.com or on Twitter @dukedejong.

An interesting topic came up during the Guru’s of Tech conference in Chicago during a breakout session titled, “Working With Non-Technical People.”  It is one of many topics from this conference that has spurred further discussion, and since it’s a worthwhile topic for all techies, I thought it was worth bringing to the web.  The question posed to the experienced, well-respected panel was, “How do tech people sabotage themselves and their ministries?”  Two key answers were given and I’d like to add a third.

1) We answer questions too quickly

One way techs make life harder on themselves is simply answering questions too quickly.  The most obvious example is saying no to a request before knowing all the details and scope of work.  Tech leaders are some of the busiest people I know and there are many legitimate reasons and times to say no.  Unfortunately, almost as a defense mechanism, frequently a no is given before scoping out the details.  While healthy boundaries are important, we must remember that we are in a support role and it is generally not our role to decide what our priorities are.  When a request is made a response conveying a desire to serve should be given until the details can be found and priorities can be discussed with your direct report.  If you do then have to say no, you have the backing and support of your leadership, you shared your heart to serve and explored reasonable options.  In the same way trouble can come from saying yes too quickly.  When a need is agreed to before knowing all of the details, techs can set themselves up for failure if they can’t deliver.

In the end, in order to set everyone up for success, it is critical that tech people fully research details, options and if necessary, leadership direction when needs are brought to the table before responding.  Learning to respond in a way that conveys a heart and dedication to serve alongside actions showing the diligence to serve well will show people that they matter, that you want to help them and that if it’s possible you will.

2) Being Overprotective of Our Time

This is a tough subject.  In my years as a Technical Director I learned I had to set some pretty definitive boundaries and stick too them in order for my family and me to not burn out.  Boundaries are a good and critical part of ministry life, but care must be taken to not overshoot those boundaries.  The technical role is highly fluid with the only constant being things will change.  Having boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t have to have flexibility.  It comes with the territory and inflexibility will sabotage you as fast as anything else.  Maintain your boundaries but in times where all hands on deck are needed, be ready to be flexible.  In case you’re wondering, I don’t mean giving up your days off entirely, but simply being willing to shift your days off to a different day for very special occasions.  Just as in the previous point, the key here is to be willing to serve and support your ministry (when reasonable of course).

3) Not Focusing on Relationships First and Foremost

This last point has been a part of conversations for me across the country with arts leaders everywhere.  When we lead or serve with a gear first mentality, or focus on tasks before relationships, sabotage has already set in.  I believe what happens in a church requires partnerships of the highest degree, people who are committed to the mission and vision of God and His church and are committed to serving together in order to make it happen.  In order to be successful, relationships must be forged so when deadlines come, chaos ensues and mistakes are made, people know that you’re all on the same side, dedicated to the same mission and vision.  Grace and respect will overcome mistakes and frustration as everyone is unified together in mission and heart.  Relationships help us value, encourage and trust one another, and in the high stress, frantic world of production that can be the difference between your success or your burn out.

Join the discussion (below) that occurred at the Guru’s of Tech Conference.  Do you agree or disagree with what has already been shared?  Are there any other areas techs sabotage themselves?